How Makeup and Beauty Helps Me Cope

Today, I’m going to do a different kind of post and instead of reviewing products and brands, I’m going to take a bit of a break to bear my soul in a sense.  Over the last, almost two years now, I have found that makeup and beauty have been coping methods to get through my day.  You may think that sounds a little bit funny because who needs help coping with just getting through the day?  Well I do.

I struggled with some chronic conditions; such as major depressive disorder (depression) and generalized anxiety disorder.  Leaving my house is a struggle because I’m too tired to pull myself out of my bed and too anxious about leaving the house.  At one point about four years ago I had a severe anxiety attack and couldn’t leave for work because I couldn’t get my hands to stop shaking long enough for me to lock the door.  No matter how much I sleep or rest, no sleep is enough to help me through the brain fog and heavy feeling that comes with depression (in my case at least).  Combine the two with a gender dysphoria that likes to wish things about how your gender identity doesn’t match how you look and it’s a struggle to go out and interact at work (which for me is retail so you have to be friendly and upbeat no matter what).

In the last two years, I’ve discovered that doing my makeup has been helping me get through the day a little easier.  Maybe it’s because I know my dark circles aren’t as noticeable or that I actually feel attractive – but I’ve been getting through the day with a little bit more ease then I did before.  I look forward to getting up in the morning in order to do my makeup because I like to play with the different items I have, whether it’s new eyeshadows or new highlighters (usually highlighters lets face it).

In recent months, I had an anxiety attack one morning while I was getting ready for work and was barely able to finish doing my makeup before work and actually ended up dropping a pan of eyeshadow and destroying it.  It was absolutely shattered to dust.  After cleaning it up, I was barely able to get my mascara and lipstick on before leaving work and my hands were still shaking, but no one noticed my shaking hands because they were more focused on the bright red lipstick I was wearing specifically for that purpose.

I’ve noticed that if I get up on my days off specifically to do my makeup then I am more likely to leave the house and actually try to socialize with the people in my life (my friends, family, even strangers in new environments) then I am if I don’t get up with the intention to do my makeup.  Even if I don’t leave the house, doing my makeup allows me to feel as though I’ve accomplished something even if it’s fairly minuscule.

Long story short, makeup has allowed me to feel human when my conditions took that away from me.  It may seem like a shallow way of coping, but it’s helped me cope and get through tough days in a way that 15 year old me never expected and I am grateful for that.

Stay gilded foxes.

Prismatic Cosmetics – Julep Highlighter ✧

I ordered the Julep Highlighter from Prismatic Cosmetics’ Etsy storefront a little under a week ago.  There are different buying options; such as if you just want the pan 37mm, the product in a compact or a 44mm pan ($10 – $14).  Prismatic Beauty creates highlighters, eyeshadows, and loose glitters and sells their products through Etsy.  Julep is a pale, mint green highlighter that is described to have a “smooth” texture.  The product is slightly scented I noticed, but it wasn’t anything that bothered my allergies (it’s a slight, sweet, floral scent).

I took pictures of Julep in the natural lighting of the living room.  I tried a couple with the flash on, but I felt like the flash washed out the texture too much.  The texture of the highlighter really is surprisingly smooth.  It was very easy to work with and to blend; you can use a brush for a more sheer, natural look or your finger for a more intense, BAM! effect (personally I used my finger for that).

That is a single swirl in the product on my finger tip.  And that’s quite a bit of pigmentation there.

That is a swatch using the product that was on my finger tip.  In my opinion, that’s nicely pigmented.  Honestly, I’m having a hard time finding anything critical about this highlighter after using it for three days straight and loving every little bit of it.

My only complaint is that the product does have a fragrance, but I am incredibly thankful that it’s not that irritates my allergies or that has caused my skin to break out.  I have to admit, I didn’t read the ingredients carefully when I ordered it or I would have noticed that it said “fragrance” in the list, so that’s on me.

Julep is cruelty free and vegan according to the item description and Prismatic Cosmetics do provide a list of ingredients.

I highly recommend trying out Prismatic Cosmetics.  I’m looking forward to trying their eyeshadows when I get a chance to do another order and their prices are pretty reasonable (eyeshadows start at $3)!  Julep is a beautiful highlighter that’s great for every day (at least I’ve been wearing it every day since I got it).

Thank you for reading!  Stay gilded foxes!